Discover About Power And Control In Divorce

Posted by Relationship Expert on February 4, 2010

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Discover about Power and Control in divorce

Power and control issues may be part of the dynamics of the inter-personal relationship of the marital partners or more significant pathology accompanying complex individual psychological and addiction problems. This is a relationship issue exacerbated by the breakdown of the marriage and the emotional dissolution of marriage.

Parents who are divorcing come with the baggage of the emotional hurt and anger related to the divorce, and the interplay of beliefs and communication patterning. The communication and conflict resolution is likely to be lacking Either or both parents may say the other is unreasonable. In response, they may take a firm stand that, the other parent, seems unreasonable. Thus, both may appear to be unreasonable to the other. Such perceptions add to their resolve. Standing firm appears to be unreasonable and rigid to others and causes that parent to remain firm and rigid. This pattern is one of self-sustaining conflict. For example one parent is more of a disciplinarian and the other parent becomes more permissive in response. The stricter the one parent becomes, the more permissive the other parent becomes. The extremes are not either’s real positions, but the power and control struggle pushes each into rigid reactions.

One there is identification of this issue as an issue by either party, even if there is a denial of any validity to the claim, both parties should enter into a stipulation prior to proceeding to a regarding evaluation, intervention, monitoring, protections and consequences.

Family lawyers see this pattern repeatedly in a legal dissolution of marriage, whether this is whether a child should attend public or private school, play contact sports, or go to bed a certain hour. The key is to educate the client as to the real issue-power and control, and that it really does not involved the child or parenting. If power and control issues permeate the parents relationship, a professional evaluation may be indicated for many reasons; the parties will benefit from the evaluation findings and recommendations, a plan for future may be developed that serves the best interest of the individuals, the marriage and the children, and, if there is a problem and no compliance with interventions, immediate protections can take place. Ultimately, if it becomes detrimental issue impacting the children’s safety and well being, the evaluation and testimony from the expert will be admissible by prior agreement, if there is any violation of following the expert’s recommendations. It may be that the expert determines that the children need to be evaluated to see if there is damage to them and to determine appropriate treatment and interventions for the children and the entire family.

Immediate and competent intervention and individual and family counseling should be recommended to focus the parties on a solution and new way to interact. The parents need skilful training and education and a refocus to the best interest of the child and the detriment to the child of their course of action. The parties need a well-defined and structured communication plan which can be accomplished through a therapeutic mediation.

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