2 Things To Get Out Of Him If He Just Won’t Marry You

Posted by Relationship Expert on January 17, 2010

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You’ve seen it before – A couple together for years, obviously ideal for one another, compatable/complementary. And to other people: should be engaged BY NOW. They get hounded, especially the guy, with every family occasion ending up in at least 2 people questioning him “so when you gonna pop the question?” or “working on those lunges yet hey hey?” Yes, it’s annoying, but sometimes the girl isn’t getting annoyed along with him.

She’s probably also been wondering when it’s going to happen. Guys: Hold off for long enough and she’s going to start questioning it. And yes, being married is just a piece of paper telling you what you already know, blah blah blah. Girls are still getting antsy. It’s not that we think the relationship will end if we don’t tie the knot. But the fear that you could leave anytime you wanted without a fight makes tying the knot (where yes, it’s HARD to leave the relationship) seem more appealing. We have every faith in you as boyfriends, being faithful and just down-right good boyfriends. But somethings gotta give. When I’ve been with my boyfriend of 4 years, I’m going to expect some kind of future step. Marriage is hard, harder than being in a relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend. But it’s harder because you can’t just leave, you’re almost in a way forced to fight through it because of that ‘piece of paper’.

So, you’ve been with him for some time now, you guys speak of the future as if it’s a sure thing that both of you will be in each others future. And yet, even when questioned, no ring? Frustrated much? You’ve tried talking/chatting to him about what you want, he twists it with ‘we don’t need a piece of paper to tell the world we love each other’ crap. But it’s true, they sometimes do say that. So there are 2 questions you can ask to know if you’re wasting your time or not.

Question 1

Can you imagine me walking down the isle towards you?

And watch his reaction. If he pauses, he has to imagine it. That most probably means he hasn’t before, which isn’t necessarily a great indication. But fear not! Even if he hesitated, it’s not the end of the relationship, be a little more patient (a lot to ask considering, I know!), but maybe just getting him to seriously imagine you walking down the isle towards him will be a bit of an revelation for him. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll start to see it in his minds eye more and more often. Every person on this planet is different, so each reaction would have to judged separately. If he answered right away, that’s a great sign. He wants to be in your future for sure, so now you know that’s Not the issue. Finding out what is could be a little harder.

Question 2
Can you see me having your children?

This is tricky. Because I realize that many guys aren’t always keen to even think about kids before they consider marrying you. But trust me, he’s thought about it. Even if it’s in a scary oh-no-she’s-late kind of way. He’s considered the possibility of you falling pregnant and what happens afterwards. I had a scare a while ago, was so petrified. But the more I thought about being pregnant and not having my baby, that freaked me out. All I could see was the future and how fantastic it could be. I’m not saying guys are thinking the same thing, but it would be hard not to.

So good luck if you’ve been waiting yonks, but if you’re looking for answers to his lack of decision, you might want to start with the basic questions first .

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