I Screwed Up – May I Still Get My Ex Back?

Posted by Relationship Expert on January 12, 2010

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By Teddy Tedbos
All relationships have their bumpy roads but, when one person in the relationship screws up badly enough the relationship often comes to an abrupt end. Normally it is only one of the two (the one that didn’t make the mistake) that wants to end it; the other person usually is not ready or does not want to break off the relationship.

If you are the one that did something hard to forgive that caused your ex to walk out on you don’t make your second mistake by calling your ex every hour trying to get them to talk to you. They parted ways with you because you screwed up and now, they don’t want anything to do with you so, and this may not sound right but, give them what they want.

Call once, leave a message apologizing for whatever it was you did and don’t call, text, or email them again. Now you’re probably thinking well, if I don’t call, text, or email more than once, then how am I going to be able to get them back? How do you think your ex will react if you call them thirty times a day trying to make up or fix things? I think you already know the answer to that but, just so it’s clear to you, what will happen is you will shove your ex further away.

This is a mistake that almost everyone makes when the break up first happens and most never realize that their actions are making the situation worse. What you really should do, is allow them enough time and space to get over the anger they feel toward you. How much time and space will depend on how big a mistake you made, the bigger the mistake the more time and space it will require.

During the time that you are not in contact with your ex you could try to improve yourself by taking a close look at yourself and identifying your bad habits that could have annoyed your ex while you were together. Once you identify these things, begin to work on repairing them, the only thing you should not do, is change who you are as a person, after all that is who your ex fell in love with.

When your ex sees that you are making improvements in yourself they will be more willing to start a conversation with you, if they do call talk to them but stay calm, remember it was you who made the mistake. If they start to yell at you calling you a jerk or maybe even every name in the book, if you get my drift, stay calm, bite your lower lip, and agree with them, apologizing at every turn.

You should also try to keep the call on the short side, because you won’t be able to mend things with just one call and if you think that you can you are sadly mistaken. Relationships that are repaired or fixed on the first call will almost always end up falling apart again in the near future.

After the first conversation with your ex you might start to lengthen the future conversations that you have and at this point it should be just like when you first met. The reason for that is because the relationship you had ended, it’s gone, now you need to build a new one which, may or may not be easy depending on how big a mistake you made. If the break up happened because you cheated on your ex then the road ahead will be long, hard, and all uphill, it is however, still possible to get your ex back.

No matter what the mistake was, to get an ex back is always possible if you use a detailed step by step plan and stick with it, start to finish.

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